The title of this post says it all.
Nah, I’m going to to tell the whole story about why the car wash was such a horrible experience for me. Some, if not most, of you reading this will be able to relate to this story in some ways. So here it is Fem Stop Fam, the story of the worst car wash of my life.
I had just picked up my car from the mechanic because the right axle was shot and I needed new tires and a wheel alignment (don’t be fooled by that statement, I don’t know what an axle is and I wouldn’t have known to change my tires had it not been for my dad who was horrified at the sight of them). So when I picked it up, it was a little dirty from being in the shop, so I took it around the corner for a wash.
I pull up, hand over my car and wait outside for it to be finished. It looked like they were finishing up, so I walked over and put some singles in their tip jar. One man thanked me and walked away. As I was waiting for the guys to finish wiping down my windows, one guy looked up at me and asked what my background is.
I get this question almost everywhere I go because most people think that I am of Hispanic ethnicity. This isn’t the case. So when this guy asked, I responded as I always do, “I am Japanese, Italian, and German”. Usually when someone asks me this question, the follow-up comment is, “oh wow! I thought you were *insert Latin American country here* that’s so interesting that you’re Japanese” etc., etc.
Instead of this response, the man looked at me and asked, “So do you want to have babies?”
I wish that this was a joke but it wasn’t.
I was so shocked by this question that I just said, “um no, not right now” and continued to look at my phone and try to avoid the conversation. But he didn’t stop there. He continued to interrogate me on why I didn’t want to have kids, even asking me if it was “because I’m into girls”. I told him I was straight and that I just wasn’t sure about having kids. Meanwhile, let’s all remember that this man is an absolute stranger and didn’t even know my name, nor I his.
So finally my car was done and he leaves me with this, “you should really reconsider that, the world needs more girls who look like you”.
I was mortified and sped off. What kept running through my head is what I wish I had said to this man. What I wish I had said was this:
“Just because I am a woman does not mean that I am only existing on this earth to reproduce. I am not a baby maker and that is not my sole purpose in life. Also, I am not automatically not into men because I don’t want to bear children. Just because I’m not sure about whether or not I want to bring life into this world does not mean you can just assume my sexuality based on that sole factor! Also, you’re extremely rude and invasive for these comments and I would ask that you don’t do this to me or any other woman again.”
This may have started a fight that I would not have been able to win, HOWEVER, this was totally uncalled for and made me all around uncomfortable. Truth be told, men have been taught that they can say whatever is on their minds at any given time, while women are taught to avoid conflict and say what pleases men in order to avoid violence.