I recently had an interesting conversation with one of my professors who identifies with being a feminist like I do, but we both disagreed about the first date “rules” that society has pinned on all those in the dating world. I wonder, because we both come from a feminist standpoint, why our opinions on this topic differed, and I thought I would open up the conversation to anyone out there still engaging with this blog (if you are, thank you indefinitely for reading all of my rants).
As a disclosure for the rest of this blog post, I am speaking from a cis stand point and in no way am trying to insinuate that first dates only exist between a man and a woman because, of course, they do not. I, as I have since the beginning of this blog, will speak to what I know or what I research on. In this particular case, I am speaking to a cis audience who go on male/female dates.
So, old school first date “rules” were that the man would ask the woman, the man would drive the woman to the destination, the man would pay, etc. As soon as this topic came up I shut down these gender roles that exist in the dating scene. I think that a woman should have the ability to ask a man on a date if she wants to, pick up her date if she chooses to, and pay for the date. I think that a fair first date would be either the guy or girl asking (doesn’t matter who), guy or girl picking up (or meeting at the destination), and going halfsies on the check at the end of the meal.
My professor, on the other hand, thought that you should put up the little fight like, “omg no!!! I’ll pay!!!” but really let the guy pay for everything because that’s just the way to do it. I think this mindset is fine and there’s nothing wrong with believing that this is the way to do it, but I just disagree.
I don’t think either of us are right or wrong, but I thought it was interesting that both us identify as feminists and disagree on this first date “rule”. If anyone has any thoughts on this, comment below! If you’re just reading this for fun and thinking on your own, great! If I’m talking to myself right now, that’s fine too. I do that a lot.